We have seen the diplomatic relationship between India and Pakistan through the eyes of Bollywood in dozens of films. In the reproachful narration of Siddharth Malhotra starrer Mission Majnu, Sunny Deol’s virulent brand of hyper-nationalism from the late 1990s makes a toned-down return, painting Pakistan as a whiny child asking for a nice pencil box since India has one, too.
Of fact, the secret nuclear power plant that Pakistan conspires to build is not stationary but rather something they learned about from India’s successful nuclear bomb test in Pokhran.’Bhooke pet so jayenge. Ghaas kha lenge. Lekin Pakistan nuclear bomb bana ke rahega,’ pledges padosi mulk‘s prime minister (Rajit Kapur).
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Siddharth Malhotra in the role of a tailor, Tariq
India, ever wary of Pakistan’s propensity for reckless impulses, vehemently protests with ‘Woh ek kattar desh hai‘ and ‘Pakistan jaise destructive desh ke paas nuclear bomb hona India ke liye tabahi hai.‘When Tariq, the tailor (Sidharth Malhotra), falls in love with a girl named Nasreen at first sight in Rawalpandi (1977), the story swiftly switches from internal meetings in Islamabad (1974) to romance (Rashmika Mandanna). Think of Kajol and Aamir Khan from Fanaa without the chemistry, charisma, or catchy music or corny poetry.
In the blink of an eye, they are wed and on their way to having their first child. It’s a love story that nobody cares about. least of all Tariq, who during the film’s 129 minutes of running time excuses himself repeatedly while raising no red flags. Nasreen’s blindness to his covert activities is convenient for him. She is, in fact, blind. Rashmika’s duty is just to wear a nose ring and smile at everything.
Writers don’t like Pakistan
Siddharth Malhotra starrer Mission Majnu would be a lighthearted title for a modern romance in the vein of Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge, but it never finds an appropriate setting as it does in Shantanu Bagchi’s spy drama. Bagchi and his writing team, Parveez Sheikh, Aseem Arrora, and Sumit Batheja, are so focused on making fun of Pakistanis that they overlook the intelligence component of RAW agents. Make your adversary intimidating if you want to make them appear dangerous.
All of Pakistan will kindly reveal their secrets to him with only a simple harmless question, including tattle-tale Brigadiers, schoolchildren, bored grandmothers, and toilet vendors. Sidharth has an attractive face, but lacks the slyness needed for the position to deftly glean information. He is never asked to do it in the script. Or his spy partner Sharab Hashmi and Kumud Mishra.
Verdict
Siddharth Malhotra in Mission Majnu claims Pakistan cannot see how blatant the troika. How curious they are everywhere they go. If anything, it highlights how forcedly theatrical and false the latter’s last-minute counterattack was. Tariq’s frequent berating by a curmudgeon (Zakir Hussain) he reports to over the telephone. For being a traitor’s kid is another ongoing cause of annoyance. It seems like the seasoned actor was billing on a “gaddaar” per word basis. The same is true of how Pakistan portrayed in Bollywood. You can have Pakistan if you can get everyone to repeat “ji janab” every second, every sentence, and every scene.
Mission Majnu puffs out its chest in pride, “Hum India hai,” after reducing Pakistan to size. In every manner possible over the first three-fourths of the film. Hum pyaar pe palte hain, hum nafrat pe nahi. That is impressive coming from a movie about nations competing for nuclear dominance.